blah!

Tonight just kind of sucked. I love these kids, but things change. So quickly. I thought I wanted it to be like old times, but I didn't really. I can't re-create past times any way. I thought I was upset with the way things were, but I shouldn't have been. So I am glad I figured that out... and I guess I am just done. I really just want to curl up in a ball most of the time lately and not talk to anyone. I'm not being emo, I'm not depressed, I am fine. I really really hate football though.

First show...

I don't know what happened. It was just a mess somehow. We'll have many run-throughs by the next game though. But wow, some of that was just terrible.

School is great. I love my AP Gov and honors English classes, everything about them. All my friends are in them. But FST and Chem suck, pretty much. Chemistry is easy, so far. I own in FST. I'm learning so much in Gov, I love it.

Then band class, of course = amazazing. But tonight... :o~~~~

I got to talk to one of my favorite trumpets tonight about Jesus and stuff. She was raised catholic and just recently started going to Cedar Street. :) She wants to get baptised soon. I love having her to talk to.

Then for some reason it was really good to see Jake tonight.
I'm so tired and just done with stupid crap from this past week. We're going to get better. And I did fine with out my lyre tonight, so.. woohoo.
Spring

Rain, rain.. stay a while.

I love the rain, I don't know why. I love sitting in Beaner's in the rain the most, and walking in it. I hung out with Heather for the first time in too long. I hung out with Mava, Alyson, and Amelia last week. I am tired of going into stores and being stupid. Honestly I'm bored of all of that.

For some reason some of the new trumpets are very dramatic. =p It makes me laugh. It makes me laugh more when they ask me what to do! They truely are a blessing though and I think God will use them to show me things. He already has really.

I am sooo ready for school. Change needs to happen and I need to be busy. I am less distracted honestly when I am busier. I'm never too busy God though, I just need to stop wasting time.

I'm kind of in a weird daze. Maybe it's all the Coldplay. Maybe it's my coping mechanism with change.. Maybe it's because I haven't read today. :-/

Waiting sucks.

Band camp went just perfectly. All my worries for this year are gone. We will do just fine. In fact we are about to kick some major butt!

I am very confused and anxious at the moment though. I am so ready for school to start. Like NOW. I hate the way thing are sometimes but I understand that God takes care of us. It's just the waiting to see what will happen. 2 Corinthians 6:14 I want to loose one of my best friends so badly..

Into marvelous light I'm running...

Wow. That was everyhting I hoped for. Being seperated from everything at home sucked but at the same time put me into a real peace. Phones don't work there. I don't know what it is. I saw the hardest heart just break down this week. I have seen how badly God wants us. In a place like this, it is so easy to listen. And Music is amazing.
I could talk up camp all day but more thna anything I want to shower, read, and play my trumpet right now. I brought it, and played a bit to save lips. And I played taps every night, which was fun.
For the first time when returning to camp, I did not feel like crap. I didn't think to myself, oh what a screw-up, and I didn't rely on camp turning me around. I didn't feel... totally lost. Though I am a terrible sinner and I have so far to go. So Abby, thanks. I was really neat having OBC youth there too. Any way..

Spring

For some reason

6am is so sobering.

Yesterday went terribly..

New respect for Lael...

Monday night was amazing. First, I got to see the famous Kris Edler speak and he was great. (Although he contradicted Abby totally. Don't worry, we will correct everything after she leaves) Just kidding. Kris stressed three main points, praying, fasting, and friends. Like fellowship and being around positive people. But Reading our Bible is no doubt so important. I have gained a new respect for Lael.

Coming home Monday just felt like old days (like a year ago :-p) and everything seemed okay then. I haven't talked to a few people in days, when I have really needed to, but somehow I feel like everything is okay...

Sectional today...I just saw some mormons outside and felt the strong urge to go talk with them, but I don't know why. Side tracking.. I really don't want to go today because most likely, the last 1/3 of the section leader mess will be there and take over where she...didn't leave off. Puke. I really want things to go well. There go the mormons again,what could I say to them? Why are you deceiving the world? Haha

Anyway Wednesday I woke up with a panicky feeling, for no reason. I had been arguing with Evan which always sucks, but for some reason he made me feel a lot better Tuesday and we just dropped what we were arguing about. That is what I love about guys, they forget and don't care.

Abby. I love your guts. I hope everything ended the way you wanted. You have amazing friends and family but I know you will forget all about Holt when you get back home. :-p What would you say to a mormon?

Spring