I hit a squirrel today...

...because I was speeding and passing people all over the place. I looked back and he kind of wriggled and then stopped. Squirrels mate for life, so I just killed the equivalent of someone's spouse. A little dramatic? Maybe, but it did not make me happy.
What did make me happy was ending something that was getting to be ridiculous tonight. Someone *cough* DAVID WARNER *cough* kind of barged in, so I didn't get to finish everything. But I am okay now. I have found out also that the strongest person I know is having the same problems as I. Junior year so far has sucked. Honestly. But at least now I know that I have someone back that I'd been missing for a long time.
But I have always had someone. I know this.
I feel as though I have not slept in days. I have felt like Holden Coalfield lately too. In that, I think I could possibly be crazy sometimes. And I feel like everything around me is so depressing sometimes. I watched someone today watch a tape of their dreams, that all came true. And then were just one day gone, their own fault of course. But you'd have to know the person. I know more than anything after today that I do not ever want to do what they did. But to see a person watch everything that they could have been, whoa it killed me. I pray lately just to see encouraging things. I don't know if that made any sense. Any way I have so much home work that I have not even thought about. It is ridiculous. I need to quit having a social life. Only so serious. I am in soooo deep.

Money saved for KC OneThing: $26. And that was just in this week, with lunch money and money I was given for Uncle John's Cider Mill. Abby I am coming.

Apache

This week was very intersesting. Monday seems like forever ago, because so much happened. Craziness.

It is always good talknig to Abby. She called at the exact moment I really needed someone. I am a stupid frickin' sheep. I know. I don't understand this all yet but I know what I need to do. Wow it will be hard to explain this though. But oh well. I can't worry about others so much. I don't need to put my dogs in other people's battles....cos it is illegal or something. Tonight was very ...awkward.

Tonight was the best show marching wise, I feel yet. I never thought I'd say it but I can't wait until it is over. :-p

Raise your hand if you're gay...oh.

AP Gov takes over my life lately. I almost wish that I had not been raised to beleive in God.. it would be easier to understand people who don't belive. I can't understand a lot of the time how it doesn't make sense to people. Talking to Jake last night about it helped a bit. He pointed out that I won't always know everything to say and that it isn't about that. I should be telling him that. Wow did I feel stupid. Seeing everyone last night was great. Even though it was so quick. I left a party early to see them all. Only after settling a few things... Things have changed so much, but I still love hanging out with these people.

Last night was the Light Show, and also we played Everett (sp?) Anyway, very big deal. My lights all fell, haha. I played so loudly, my lips very very shot. Some people really went all out with lights, I was impressed. We won. Last Wednesday was the Grand Ledge Exhibition. We did really well. Grand Ledge was really great to see. They're huge. And then MSU was amazing. Wow. I really want to do that. It's probably my biggest dream right now exccpet for painting the rock.

Then speaking of dreams, we should find out this month if Evan is going to DC for the senate page program. Whoa. I wouldn't be such a baby if they didn't take away their cell phones. :-/ That is a looooong time with out talking. But he will be crushed if he doesn't make it in. We had been fighting a lot lately, but we talked last night. Not as much as I would have liked. And even though I have three classes with him it still feels as though I never see him. But AP Gov takes over all our lives. Really.

blah!

Tonight just kind of sucked. I love these kids, but things change. So quickly. I thought I wanted it to be like old times, but I didn't really. I can't re-create past times any way. I thought I was upset with the way things were, but I shouldn't have been. So I am glad I figured that out... and I guess I am just done. I really just want to curl up in a ball most of the time lately and not talk to anyone. I'm not being emo, I'm not depressed, I am fine. I really really hate football though.

First show...

I don't know what happened. It was just a mess somehow. We'll have many run-throughs by the next game though. But wow, some of that was just terrible.

School is great. I love my AP Gov and honors English classes, everything about them. All my friends are in them. But FST and Chem suck, pretty much. Chemistry is easy, so far. I own in FST. I'm learning so much in Gov, I love it.

Then band class, of course = amazazing. But tonight... :o~~~~

I got to talk to one of my favorite trumpets tonight about Jesus and stuff. She was raised catholic and just recently started going to Cedar Street. :) She wants to get baptised soon. I love having her to talk to.

Then for some reason it was really good to see Jake tonight.
I'm so tired and just done with stupid crap from this past week. We're going to get better. And I did fine with out my lyre tonight, so.. woohoo.
Spring

Rain, rain.. stay a while.

I love the rain, I don't know why. I love sitting in Beaner's in the rain the most, and walking in it. I hung out with Heather for the first time in too long. I hung out with Mava, Alyson, and Amelia last week. I am tired of going into stores and being stupid. Honestly I'm bored of all of that.

For some reason some of the new trumpets are very dramatic. =p It makes me laugh. It makes me laugh more when they ask me what to do! They truely are a blessing though and I think God will use them to show me things. He already has really.

I am sooo ready for school. Change needs to happen and I need to be busy. I am less distracted honestly when I am busier. I'm never too busy God though, I just need to stop wasting time.

I'm kind of in a weird daze. Maybe it's all the Coldplay. Maybe it's my coping mechanism with change.. Maybe it's because I haven't read today. :-/

Waiting sucks.

Band camp went just perfectly. All my worries for this year are gone. We will do just fine. In fact we are about to kick some major butt!

I am very confused and anxious at the moment though. I am so ready for school to start. Like NOW. I hate the way thing are sometimes but I understand that God takes care of us. It's just the waiting to see what will happen. 2 Corinthians 6:14 I want to loose one of my best friends so badly..